December 22, 2008

This is the first posting that I have done as I too enjoyed reading Emru' s descriptions of the going ons.

I have to start by saying that this past year has been emotionally draining, but on the up side, Emru and I had many opportunities to say goodbye, painful as it was. The time we spent together, during his chemo treatments, recovery times and his feeling good times (especially at the beginning of May) where I could almost believe he wasn't sick, was time cherished. When we married, we did so in sickness and in health, and I know that everything I did for him throughout this journey, had the roles been reversed, he would have been there for me as well.

On the Saturday before his died, Emru and I talked about what he wanted in regards to his funeral arrangements, what he wanted to wear and as he wanted to be cremated, where did he want his ashes to go. He said he wanted the ashes scattered in three places; Brooklyn, NY, Kingston, Jamaica and in Montreal, QC. Why these three places? He said he spent a lot of his childhood in them and felt that's where he needed to be.

A week or so after his death, Emru's parents, Max and I went out for dinner and I told Beverly about a conversation I had with one of Emru's cousins. I had told him, after the funeral was over, I just wanted to put my butt on a beach. His response was there's there a beach 10 minutes away from me (he lives in Lake Worth, Florida). So I said to Beverly, road trip? As we started talking about more details, which included stopping in NY, I said, can I add something crazy to this? What if we drive to to NY, then end up in Florida, and then fly out to Jamaica from there. We could cover 2 out of the 3 places that Emru wanted to be. Also, Max doesn't like airplanes and we knew that that flying would be challenging but seeing as it was a direct flight from Miami and only a 90 minute flight, we thought let's do it.

So our itinerary looked like this:
December 10th - road trip begins
December 15th - fly to Ocho Rios
December 20th - fly back to Miami
December 22nd - start heading back home

December 10th - start of the road trip.
Beverly and I picked up the rental car, in the snow and I chuckled as I thought, good thing we're leaving.
Got into Brooklyn around 9PM and stayed by Emru's uncle and aunt's house.
The next morning, Emru's parents and I went to the location that had been selected, while Max stayed with Emru's uncle.
After spreading his ashes, we got ready for the next leg of our road trip, Florida here we come.
It was only in the car later in the day did I realize that it was December 11, one month after Emru's death, and we had taken care of one of Emru's requests - how appropriate.


posted by Vicky at


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